The miserable one
With a weak and drowsy head
limbs still sleepy – almost dead,
I woke up in a silent winter day
and at once decided inside to stay.
Bored, I began to mourn over my blemish soul
so eager to fly like a wingless fowl
as the ache of burning memory flashes
turned my emotions into ember ashes.
In sour madness, my thoughts had gone.
And since senses at that time, I had none,
bursting in tears I fell on the floor,
chased by my fears I reached for the door
but even the door was so far, far away,
and in reaching my memory got astray…
I forgot why I reached for that stupid door
and, again, bursting in tears I fell on the floor.
I realized something that was there all along.
It started repeating in my head like a tedious song.
That annoying, dreadful, stubborn thought
which in my spider net of nerves was caught,
will never have the mercy to let me go in peace,
unless my body rests helplessly –dead that is.
The thought whispered repeatedly “never” in my ear,
“never” was the word that combined all of my fears.
I shouted to the effigy I saw in the crooked mirror,
“Spare me I cannot stand this bring my ending nearer!”
Breaking the silence a wicked voice hissed “NEVER” in my ear,
and it drove me so mad that I couldn’t see clear!
I grabbed my reflection and threw it out the window!
But ,suddenly, I was up in the air trying to winnow!
I fell on the ground and I couldn’t lift my body anymore.
My eyes gazed at a dead blade of grass as my soul began to soar.
Free from all thoughts and fears I vanished into the void,
however, I recall that NEVER was the word that had me destroyed.
By Ami Tola (2006)